A Man's Religion
I have had opportunity recently to think about religion and more importantly church. My last posting was on a topic that makes many people uncomfortable and my approach and unwillingness to completely condemn pornography is probably controversial to many. For myself it wasn't controversial it was confusing. I thought I had some of this subject worked out but as I wrote it I realized there is still a jumble of thoughts inside my head.
I don't know why but as I have contemplated this issue the subject of Men In Church has come to the forefront. Really it was Sex that was in the forefront but I'll stick to the Men issue. For years I have been very open about the fact that I think about sex. Ask anybody that knows me! But I notice that not everybody is the same way. But the truth is the present company makes a big difference. When I am working, doing my IT thing for customers I often find out that there are many men just like me. They think about sex also, in fact many of them have a much more aggressive approach to sex than I do.
But then I hang around at church or at family events and I notice that people are not so open about this matter in those situations. Of course one of the reasons is that I am often the only male at some of these locations on a regular basis. So I have a bunch of women around and they don't seem to think their husband thinks like this. I wonder what's up? My wife knows where my heads at.
So sometimes I think it's just me then...I look around and notice there are still clubs in which women dance with practically nothing on. I often wonder if those places are empty. I also notice that if you are trying to sell something to men you usually will see barely dressed women, specially in commercials during sports games. These women are usually fairly good looking and have attractive bodies. I'm probably the only one who has noticed and I probably am also the only person on the planet to whom these ads are directed, even though I don't watch too many sports games.
So I looked up this thing about men and church and I came up with a website I found interesting.
They said a lot of things but primarily that the church today is losing men at a rapid rate. They say that they are not about trying to help build a Men's Ministry in a church (because largely those are failing in most churches as well). They are about trying to help church make their general congregation more masculine, without the hypocrisy.
Good thing I hope they are able to accomplish what they are setting out to do but as I look around I believe they have a long way to go. I have noticed Men's Ministries being a big struggle and I often joke that they would have all the men attend they wanted if they had a keg of beer and a stripper. Yeah it's a joke but you know what, it's also the truth. So what do you do with that and how do you make church more masculine? You can't have nude pole dancers during worship (hummm, I'll think about that for a bit). So how do you accomplish the mission of making church appeal to more men? Maybe one step is to admit to ourselves who we are. Women aren't Men and Men aren't Women, luckily.
So you don't have to agree with my last posting but hopefully you will think some about this issue. The solution could mean literally the future of the Christian Church in the world. A lot of men have faith according to the website above but they don't care much about church events. What's in it for them? And here was a startling fact if a Dad is involved in church their children are far more likely to attend in their adult life. This is a much bigger factor than if Mom attends regularly. So if you thought I was just being funny about the future of the Christian Church I really wasn't.
3 Comments:
Hi Chester – thanks for the bold post. I also think about sex. I use restraint as to when, where, and how much I talk about it for these reasons:
1) In the church context, most gatherings are “family oriented” and I don’t give myself permission to talk about things within earshot of children that their parents might not wish for them to hear.
2) It isn’t just men that are sometimes unsatisfied with the sexual dimension of their marriages; many women appear to be searching for romance. Because of this, it’s my opinion that men must be very careful with their words. Women fantasize at least as much as men, albeit somewhat differently perhaps.
However, I do look for windows of opportunity to affirm monogamous marital love-making. The church would be much healthier if its congregants would tend their home fires, so to speak.
But about the Men’s Ministry subculture… I confess that I am weary of the de rigueur “we’re all slobbering brutes hobbled by lust” thing. Ack! My male friends are much more interesting than that – even the ones recovering from sexual addictions.
SB, Good point that women also think about and are tempted by sex. If they weren't we wouldn't have extra-marital affairs would we? I guess I discount that because before and after marriage I've never come across that experience personally. There didn't appear to be too many people interested in me personally. Also thanks for the comments about slobbering brutes. I appologize if I am trying to make Men look that way, I don't mean to. I was merely stating that there is a bit of hipocracy sometimes in how people behave in different places (of course we should always take into account the proximity of children). I would hope church is a place were a Man can be what he is without trying wear a mask for the benefit of his wife. I think that happens often and that was the point of te website saying that Men are leaving churches. And finally here, here for stoking the Home Fires. I say turn up the heat.
Chester, I wasn't referring to your post with the "slobbering brutes" paragraph (that wouldn't be bad name for a band, by the way) -- in fact, I see you calling for honesty and acceptance, which would pave the way for a less myopic view of men.
And while I'm in the mode of clarifying, I do not intend to make light of sexual addiction or to be dismissive of its tragic impact. Hopefully, I didn't miscommunicate too badly...
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