Cool way to re-write history

I just read a post by my pastor.  It was inspiring as his posts and other writing usually are but the thing that caught my attention was a book he referred to called "Forgiveness-The Power to change the past" by Dr. Smeedes.  A link to my pastor's posting is here...

Forgive and Forget

I don't now why this would be appealing to me but maybe just maybe there are things I would like to change about my past. Hummmm...yep there are some things.  I have often believed that there is nothing I can do to change the past but leave it up to God to come up with a way for mere mortals to live outside of the bounds of time...after all HE does.

So this is revolutionary to me but alas not necessarily easy.  Forgiveness isn't so easy sometimes.  I have to forgive the customers who took 120 days to pay their bill to me, a bill which represented almost 2 months of my time.  The delay in payment caused a lot of financial hardship.  One customer would be difficult but just about the time I was recovering (but didn't quite make it) it happened again.  It still stings, so not so easy.  How about the employers that cut the way they paid bonuses tying it to their debt and therefore meaning I would make about half of what I had previously.  When you get used to any amount you can't imagine half.  I have to forgive the college professor that taught my missions class in college and taught principles and wouldn't entertain alternative thoughts, such as "Missions is a Science".  I had a hard time accepting the concept of missions as a science and even though the question was an essay and most of my professors would accept an opposing position if it was supported, this teacher did not and I was handed my F on a silver platter (I disagreed with more than one thing).  Or how about the girl who in High School commented on the way I chewed gum?  I kind of had a crush on her and the comment crushed me.  Some of this stuff goes back quite a ways and obviously I am still holding on to some of it. 

The good news is there are some things that happened and some times that I was wronged and I swore that I would get even but today I don't even remember what those events were.  I forgave and forgot.  Those events whatever they were are no longer in my past.  They are not a part of who I am nor a part of how I view the world.  By forgiving and then taking it another level and forgetting I have changed the past. Even if I don't forget I can forgive and re-write the future as well.  You see the customers that caused financial hardship have changed my future in so many ways it isn't funny.  The first time it happened I adjusted the rules I followed when I took on another "BIG" project.  When it happened a second time I have changed even more rules.  But wait there is more.  I have not only changed my "rules of engagement" I have also come up with new ways to service my customers.  I have thought of a whole new way of making money, more money by reducing the cost to my customers and increasing the level of service while reducing their downtime.  I am still working on making this a reality and my wife has joined forces with me to make it possible.  There are actually some other radical changes I am making to my business based on what I learned.  Soooo when I look back in a couple of years I will probably look back at those financial hardships as valuable investments into my future.  Woah!  This is powerful!

I am unleashed. I think I am ready to begin to do more forgiving.  Maybe I can erase every wrong ever done to me in the past and no longer carry it into the future therefore completely changing not only the PAST but also the FUTURE. 

The next hard part about forgiving is to forgive myself.  Now that one is tough.  I can't believe some of the stupid things I have done.  I regret the ways I treated some people.  And some of the choices I made along the way...DUMB, DUMB, DUMB!!!  After thinking about this whole thing however I am going to work really hard to even forgive ME.  I bet I can change all kinds of history if I did that.  Some of these things I would rather not forget.  I don't want to forget how I treated some of my friends growing up, because I don't want to make those mistakes again.  I want to treat everybody I come across with high value and as if they really mattered to somebody.  Maybe even as if they matter to me, I'll have to think about that one. 

If you knew some of the posts I plan to write in this blog you would know that right now I will probably have to forgive myself for what I am about to write.  It's a good thing I found this special treasure now before I continue to do my damage by blogging.  I forgive myself here and now.  I have some really tough questions to answer in my own thinking and I hope to work them out right here.  This has been a special gift for the New Year, I have thought of other resolutions but I think I will add to or replace the others with beginning a new season of forgiveness.